The World's Worst Cars

Not every car can do what the Tesla Model S has done and redefine automotive excellence for the entire industry. Some cars manage to achieve the same spectacular peaks of achievement, but in quite the opposite direction. Herewith, a collection of the worst cars in history.

The Hoffman

Jason of Jalopnik fame had a chance to drive a car that almost unanimously won the “worst car in history” poll: The Hoffman. He says:

The Hoffmann was made in Germany right after the war by one M. Hoffmann, a man no one seems to know much about. I’m not entirely sold on the idea he was a human at all, actually.

Top Gear on the Worst Cars

What’s a post about cars without an episode of Top Gear? Or, in this case, an entire special edition film on the topic? Top Gear produced a “Worst Car in the History of the World” feature in 2012 that goes to great lengths to determine the answer. Here’s the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1&v=nenQI4HrUhk

I’ll ruin the surprise: the answer turned out to be the Lexus SC430.

Lexus SC430: the worst car in the history of the world?

Bit shocking given the other options (obviously they haven’t driven the Hoffman!), but they’re certainly entitled to their opinion. Here, while it lasts, is the entire film on Dailymotion:

Regardless of whether you agree, who could forget their classic episode on the Reliant Robin? A classic three-wheeler with a penchant for refusing to defy gravity, especially when going through corners.

Pontiac Aztek

Ah… the Aztek. Either made famous for being Walter White’s original ride on Breaking Bad, or for being quite possibly the ugliest car ever produced, the Aztek also boasted of an optional tent that you could erect over the back if you were camping and wanted to sleep in your car. Which nobody ever wanted to do, ever. Well, now it can also boast of being the LA Times #1 Worst Car Sold in America pick.

Ugliest thing on four wheels? Quite possibly.

Time Magazine’s 50 Worst Cars of All Time

Time did an extensive The 50 Worst Cars of All Time feature, delving into the ten worst cars of five eras: 1899–1939, 1940–1959, 1960–1974, 1975–1989, and 1990-Present. Given that cars are constantly getting better across the board — safer, faster, more efficient, more feature-rich — let’s just skip to the final era and say that the worst of the worst is the winner of the 1990-Present period. Which makes it…the 2004 Chevy SSR.

Time Magazine’s pick for the worst car: the 2004 Chevy SSR

SSR, in case you’re wondering, stands for Super Sport Roadster. I’m sure the idea of a Super Sport Roadster brings up all kinds of images in your head, like this one:

James Dean and his classic 1955 Porsche 550 Spyder. Legend has it that “Little Bastard” was one seriously cursed car, not only taking Dean’s life but also hurting lots of other people who came into contact with it after.

Or, possibly, this one:

Steve McQueen in his 1957 Jaguar XK-SS

It almost certainly doesn’t bring to mind this… abomination:

In all fairness, that’s the 2000 concept car that had the misfortune to become the production SSR. But, still, let’s all be honest. It should have remained in the jungle that it is apparently emerging from.