Rannie invited Rachel Segal and I out to a photowalk through the Badlands and Barber Paper Mill today, and I thought I might finally have my chance to find out what makes him tick. I figured it had to be something hidden away in his big bag of photojunk tricks, like a magic lens or a camera body passed straight into his hands by God almighty. I’m here to tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that it’s nothing of the sort.

The secret to Rannie’s success? Flat bagels.

Bagel World's Flat Bagel

Flat bagels?! you say, and I agree. It’s pure sacrilege really. Rachel and I were horribly offended by this apparition, which was heavily accompanied by tuna fish and some melted cheese. I firmly maintain that there is no such thing as a flat bagel. There may be a flat, baked, dough disc with a hole in the centre, but this a bagel does not make. Just because Bagel World has been the heart of the Bathurst and Wilson area for over 45 years does not give them the right to go messing with humanity’s most pure vector for the delivery of creme cheese and lox.

(As a complete aside, and a throwback to the violent retching induced in yesterday’s post on Bell’s rebranding disaster, Wikipedia tells me that flat bagels are also known as flagels. I wish I was kidding.)

At any rate, shortly after finishing off the bagellini (you have to believe me because I honestly couldn’t make this shit up: a bagellini is a flagel with sandwich toppings), Rannie went out and led us on a four hour expedition in which I shot 300 photos and got a few good ones and he shot 5 photos, all of which were brilliant. Next time, I’m having the flagel bagellini.

(Photos to follow soon)

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